Editing Activity

~Make a list of 7 specific things that are done in the papers that you think make them an A paper.

Definitions-

1. The role of women definition had a very detailed definition.
2. The definition paper about solitary confinement being torture used a lot of examples of other types of torture for pathos.
3. The Wikileaks essay posed their opinion as a question which makes a good setup for logos.
4. The torture paper used quotes from actual inmates which helped ethos.
5. The women definition made very specific appeals to the audience (like the Disney princess reference).
6. The essay on the roles of women was placed in the correct context ("Yet a woman today struggles to maintain balance between the various ‘requirements’ of womanhood ").
7. The freedom and wikileaks paper used the OED definition at a place that flowed in the paper.

~Afterwards, list 5 specific things you think you need to integrate into you paper.

1.  I definitely need to work on the flow of my paragraphs.
2. Another thing to improve would be the organization of my topics, and making all of them connect to my main point.
3. I need to use better transitions and introduction techniques for my various examples.
4. I should describe examples more completely to help back up my claims.
5. I also need to work on my phrasing and wording of my argument.

Topic Proposal

I am evaluating Michael Jackson as a good influence on pop culture because     -he revolutionized the dance world with his own unique style
     -he made music videos popular
     -he was dedicated to peace and equality efforts

Sources-

Aoun, Steven. "Michael Jackson: The Man in the Mirror." Metro (Melbourne, Vic: 1974).162 (2009): 167-71. Print.

      This article has good background information on Michael Jackson's home life and social influences. It shows positive and negative aspects of the performer's personality.

Erica Brown, and Maryam Abdul-Aleem. "The Life that was Michael Jackson." New York Amsterdam News, sec. 100: S4. Print. 2009.

      This newspaper article has a lot of good background information on Jackson and his career. It also discusses some of his influences on the world.

Michael Jackson: The Official Michael Jackson Site. Sony Music Entertainment. 2011. Web. 1 August 2011.

     This is Jackson's official website. It has a lot of useful information including complete lists of his awards and achievements, and a timeline of his career.