Editing Activity

~Make a list of 7 specific things that are done in the papers that you think make them an A paper.

Definitions-

1. The role of women definition had a very detailed definition.
2. The definition paper about solitary confinement being torture used a lot of examples of other types of torture for pathos.
3. The Wikileaks essay posed their opinion as a question which makes a good setup for logos.
4. The torture paper used quotes from actual inmates which helped ethos.
5. The women definition made very specific appeals to the audience (like the Disney princess reference).
6. The essay on the roles of women was placed in the correct context ("Yet a woman today struggles to maintain balance between the various ‘requirements’ of womanhood ").
7. The freedom and wikileaks paper used the OED definition at a place that flowed in the paper.

~Afterwards, list 5 specific things you think you need to integrate into you paper.

1.  I definitely need to work on the flow of my paragraphs.
2. Another thing to improve would be the organization of my topics, and making all of them connect to my main point.
3. I need to use better transitions and introduction techniques for my various examples.
4. I should describe examples more completely to help back up my claims.
5. I also need to work on my phrasing and wording of my argument.

Topic Proposal

I am evaluating Michael Jackson as a good influence on pop culture because     -he revolutionized the dance world with his own unique style
     -he made music videos popular
     -he was dedicated to peace and equality efforts

Sources-

Aoun, Steven. "Michael Jackson: The Man in the Mirror." Metro (Melbourne, Vic: 1974).162 (2009): 167-71. Print.

      This article has good background information on Michael Jackson's home life and social influences. It shows positive and negative aspects of the performer's personality.

Erica Brown, and Maryam Abdul-Aleem. "The Life that was Michael Jackson." New York Amsterdam News, sec. 100: S4. Print. 2009.

      This newspaper article has a lot of good background information on Jackson and his career. It also discusses some of his influences on the world.

Michael Jackson: The Official Michael Jackson Site. Sony Music Entertainment. 2011. Web. 1 August 2011.

     This is Jackson's official website. It has a lot of useful information including complete lists of his awards and achievements, and a timeline of his career.

Lady Gaga Post

Read the piece on Lady Gaga on Angel. In addition, look around the Gaga Stigmata blog beginning with the post on her video Born this Way. What sort of arguments do they make about Lady Gaga? What evidence do they use? Note a few rhetorical tactics that are used that are particularly effective in this kind of cultural commentary.

 The piece on Angel by Camille Paglia used many rhetorical tactics. One was establishing ethos by drawing the reader in by listing Gaga's accomplishments at the beginning. She also showed pathos by making examples from lyrics of Lady Gaga's songs in her own opinions. Paglia then proceeded to give her strong negative opinion on Gaga's persona and unoriginality by comparing her to other artists that inspire her. She makes it sound like Lady Gaga is just a figurehead for her music, and that she doesn't have a lot of say in what she actually wears and does. Paglia believes that Lady Gaga's music and style are the end of sex in the music industry because of how she dresses and the content of her music videos.

The "Gaga Stigma" blog piece analyzes Lady Gaga's latest hit music video "Born This Way." The author, Samantha Cohen, referenced other writers like Lewis Hyde who wrote Trickster Makes The World. Cohen also defined the word "trickster"so the readers could follow her interpretation of "Born This Way." She also uses anecdotes like the Chinese symbols of the Monkey and the Lion to describe her opinion. Cohen wasn't trying to defend Lady Gaga's work, but she did by describing what she thought her purpose was in the production of the video.

Cultural Interest Posts

Think of three cultural objects of interest. Freewrite about why you think it is good of bad (or the epitome of mediocrity). What does it mean to you? Why are you interested in it? What are people saying about it. How have people reacted to it. Where has it been taken up and used or repeated? Where has it made the most impact? How and why?

Friday, June 29th

Lady Gaga is a fantastic addition to the music industry. Her repetitive yet sometimes eerie sounding songs can be heard on any top 40 radio station for a reason. Her musicality and controversial dress has also helped to make her one of the most well known mainstream artists of the 21st century. Lady Gaga's rise to fame started in 2008 with the release of her single "Just Dance," from her album The Fame. Gaga's music videos have been wildly popular and changed what we now look for in other music videos. She encourages her fans, fondly referred to as "Little Monsters," to be themselves and celebrate their differences by. I think overall she sends out a positive message through her music and attire. People say all sorts of bad things about her because they don't understand what she is trying to do. I think the best thing about Lady Gaga is the fact that she starts conversations. She is very infused with pop culture, and is talked about by people from all walks of life. Her style and songs have been remade by many others in the entertainment industry.

Saturday, June 30th

Easy A is a funny, truthful movie about rumors and reputations in high school that was released in September of 2010. Emma Stone's stellar performance along with the other lead actors made the message of the movie come across very clearly. The message of the movie is that it is easy to get a bad reputation, and much harder to gain it back. It also shows what really happens when people spread rumors about others. Along with it being an entertaining movie, it brings to light an important issue in our modern culture. Spreading rumors is very real, not just in high school, and movies like Easy A highlight the issue.The movie got pretty good reviews, and everyone that I talked to about it really enjoyed it. I thought it was very smart and witty with a good plot.


Sunday, June 31st

Country music in general is underrated. Mainstream pop culture puts down country because it does not take as many risks as other genres of music. The truth is, country music is just more real than most other genres. Its simplicity makes it more relatable. Country is a good thing because it shows the real and original American way of life. I have nothing against pop and rap music. I like Katy Perry and Wiz Khalifa as much as the next teenager, but there is something to be said about a musician who can perform with just a guitar and a microphone. People get too caught up in the special effects surrounding a performance, and forget about the music sometimes. Country is still very relevant to pop culture, even though it is less respected.

Peer Review for Narrative

This peer review (like all the others) was helpful. Chelsea pointed out the weaker points of my story, and helped me with where I needed to expand. She pointed out the weaker parts of my descriptions, and helped me to find better ways to get my point across. Reading her paper made me realize that I needed to go over my own structure and word choice.

Narrative Response 2

I stood by the microwave in anticipation as I watched the plate spin endlessly. Once the buzzer went off I ran to the microwave and ripped the door open. I wrapped it in a soft potato roll and took a huge bite as I started to make my perogies. The crunch of the breading combined with the softness of the roll made my mouth want to sing. My satisfaction ended curtly when i realized that there was no chicken or pattie left in my hand. Luckily for me, the perogies had just finished boiling, so I quickly drained the water and melted butter over the potatoes folded in pasta shells. I took them back to my room and turned on the TV. I flipped through the channels till I heard the familiar theme song of "That 70s Show". As I waited for my perogies to cool off I sipped my water and listened to my fan combined with the sound of rain outside. As soon as they were cool, the perogies were gone, and I concluded another dinner that made me want to go to the gym.

Narrative Reading Response

1) Write a bit about how these essays differ from the writing you are used to writing/reading. How do they use a different structure, tone, techniques, etc?

2) Take one of the essays and write a few sentences about the purpose and audience for the essay. What are they and how do you know? 

 

In this class so far, we have been mainly writing more formal sounding essays that are obviously meant to persuade the reader.  The narratives were still meant to persuade, but they did so in a less obvious way. Most essays that I have been reading and writing are not written in first person. They have had a more personal and open feeling to them than what is usually written for school. Narratives seem like more of a creative type of writing, because you use your own experiences. 

The purpose of the Kotaku narrative was to convince the readers that gamers are responsible for the amount of time they spend playing video games. The audience is most likely gamers, which is stereotypically males age 16 to mid twenties. They would probably be reading the blog expecting it to be a story about how video games ruined him and he was blaming it on the producers.